chasuble equanimity: 10 Signs Your Child is Being Bullied

This article is written by Elli.? She writes about child safety, home improvement, home security, and other ways to make your family feel comfortable and safe both at home and at school and works for a Security Company.

With the increased exposure of youth suicides linked to bullying and the expanded opportunity for bullying that has been created through the popularity of social networking, few parental concerns may be greater than the possibility that your child is being bullied at school. Unfortunately, this is not an idle concern. According to sensitivity expert Dr. Ted Zeff, 160,000 children miss school each day due to fear of bullying. It?s a pervasive issue that crosses all demographics.

Despite the prevalence of bullying, many children, especially boys, don?t tell teachers or parents when they are being bullied at school. This, of course, makes the job of parenting more difficult. When your child is home, you can keep an eye on his or her interactions with others. When your child is out of your care, though, you worry about what you might be missing. Even when bullying takes place largely at school, the signs of bullying don?t stop at the school?s doors. There are several indicators your child may be being bullied that experts suggest you look out for. These signs
can be observed at home, and can be broken into four main categories.

Physical Signs -None of us want to see the children we love physically hurt, but, as far as indicators go, physical bullying is at least the easiest to see. If your child comes home with scratches or bruises he or she can?t explain, or if the excuses seem false, these are obvious signs that your child is being physically handled at school. Other signs may not be as obvious, but should be considered as well.

1 ? Your child comes home without bodily injury, but with damage to clothing, backpacks or other personal items. This may be the sign of a bully attempting to intimidate or threaten your child. Accidents do happen, but repeated signs of damage to belongings should be taken seriously.

2 ? Your child wants to dress him or herself or bathe alone when you normally help him or her dress or bathe. This could be an indicator of hidden scratches or bruises.

Social Signs -When bullying feels ever-present or like an unavoidable part of meeting peers, a child is likely to withdraw as a defense mechanism. This withdrawal will have a major impact on their social behavior.

3 ? Your child has no friends or very few friends, and doesn?t want to spend time with any of them. If leaving the house feels dangerous, your child may opt to stay home. He or she may choose to skip parties and avoid school functions.

4 ? Your child is afraid to go to school, walk to the bus stop, ride the bus or participate in extracurricular activities. If your child is being bullied, he or she will want to stay away from the places where the bullying takes place.

5 ? Your child walks ?out of the way? to get to school or home. If your child doesn?t want to tell you about the bullying, he or she may not show fear of going to school, but if he or she opts to walk to school instead of taking the bus, even in unfavorable weather, or takes the long way home to
avoid certain streets, there may be a reason.

Academic Signs -Poor grades aren?t always an indication of bullying. Some kids just don?t have the academic spirit. When it comes to grades and schoolwork, sudden changes are the most important signs.

6 ? Your child?s grades drop suddenly from one grading period to the next. If you didn?t have a family event that would cause this drop, you can likely attribute it to something outside your home. When kids are being bullied at school, worrying about what might happen in the halls between
classes or at the end of the day can distract them from their studies, negatively affecting grades.

7 ? Your child has little interest in school or homework. Again, this isn?t necessarily a sign of bullying, but if your child always liked school before and suddenly shows a lack of interest, there is probably something wrong at school.

Psychological Signs -One reason that bullying is so detrimental is that, over time, it can lead to legitimate psychological disorders, such as low self-esteem, anxiety and depression. Before these conditions manifest, though, there are lesser indicators.

8 ? Your child has fake health issues, like headaches and stomachaches. If your child complains regularly about ailments that don?t seem to exist, he or she may be faking to avoid school. These symptoms may also be psychosomatic, though, caused by the stress of having to go to school in an
unsafe environment.

9 ? Your child?s eating habits change. If your child is worried about bullying, the stress may cause a loss of appetite. On the flip-side, a child who starts coming home starving from school every day may be skipping lunch. Since lunchtime involves more students, and therefore more lax
supervision, it?s a prime opportunity for bullies. Bullied kids may skip lunch to avoid the lunchroom.

10 ? Your child seems sad at the end of every school day. For many kids, school is something they have to do, not something they want todo, so they may not be smiling ear-to-ear at the end of a school day, but they should be able to smile. If they cry at the end of each school day, it?s time
to find out why.

When it comes to bullying, as a parent you have good reason to be concerned. With diligence and support, though, you can determine if your child is a victim of bullying and take steps to put an end to it before it goes any further.

How Children Can Overcome Bullying

Children who are bullied often feel powerless to stop it. Your child may feel frightened, intimidated, and even a little embarrassed about the situation. But there are things kids can do to make their situation better. Talk to your kids about the following tips to help them overcome their situation.

If the bullying is taking place online, it is important to block the bully, not respond and if your child feels threatened he/she should report the incident, keeping evidence of the bullying.
Ignoring a bully is one way to make them powerless. If they don?t ?get to you? they look for other victims.
Tell your child to try talking to the bully if possible. Your child should be firm, but non-hostile in their speech. Firmly saying phrases like ?leave me alone? and ?you don?t scare
me? can help.
Tell your child to notify a teacher or school administrator if the bullying becomes violent. Even though your child may want to take care of the situation themselves, their safety is the number one concern. As a parent you need to let your children know that this is not
?tattling? and that they can always tell you when something is wrong, without fear of repercussions.
?Let your child know that fighting back is never the right option. Even though he or she
may want to retaliate against the bully, fighting will only make the situation worse.

How Kids Can Help Each Other

It is also important to talk to your children about what they should do if a friend or classmate is being bullied.? The most important thing to explain to your children is they should never join in on the bullying.? Even though it may be tempting to follow the crowd or laugh, bullying other children is never the answer. Other ways kids can help a friend or classmate is by notifying a teacher or getting a parent involved. Remind your children that being a bystander is just as bad as being a
bully.